Might I Lend A Machete To Your Intellectual Thicket?
More rules for life that probably definitely might not help you. In fact they might be even more than less than unhelpful:
1. Stop trying to be right all the time. If everyone was right, no one would be left. (Wince, chuckle.)
2. Try harder to be right. Don’t back off from the fight. Unless it might cause World War 3, but in that case, we’ve kind of all been waiting for it to start so we can get over with it–so you might as well. Look forward to the days when you can say “Blimey, it’s been a while since WWIII; we need another one!” (Also, if WWIII does commence then Dwight won’t have to worry about creating another plague.)
4. Skip numbers. Who says you have to follow a linear progression constantly? Shake things up a bit. Wear a sweater. When you’re hot.
6. Arbitrarily make references to things in the fictional world, or for that matter, things in the temporal world. If you know so much about it, other people probably haven’t studied up on it.
73. Do not allow your life to enter this cyclical pattern: Check your bank statements. Get a job. Lose your summer. Get money. Spend it all. Check your bank statements. Get a job. Lose your summer. Get Money. Spend it all. Check your bank statements…Sometimes it’s better to be a hobo. Or that thirty year old in your mum’s basement. (PS. If there is a thirty year old living in your basement who you don’t know, you should probably be reaching for your handset and be remembering the numerical sequence 911.)
42. The answer to life, the universe, and everything. Or so Douglas Adams says. I think the number is somewhere more around 4,815,162,342. Although I could be wrong.
9. Watch Lost. Or some other show that really makes you think. Makes you process things. Quotes that’ll jump out at you and stick with you. Twists that’ll have you reeling for days.
12. If you start a blog, expect to forget about it. I already forgot about this one. Lots of times.
34. Pick up a book. Please. And then you can come argue with me about whether the grass is green or red.
85. Excerpts are optional hand-crafted summaries of your content that can be used in your theme.
97. If you don’t return things to libraries or rental stores you will have to pay a fine. Or just make someone else rent something for you.
3. Have a fantastic life.