Well, that's even more than less than unhelpful.

More Rules For Existence.

6) Start a fire. With your teeth. Or matches. Whichever you prefer.

6b) If you decide to go with the teeth idea, please be aware that your dental insurance may be affected by above exercise.

23) Attempt to blow up parliament with said fire.

23b) Remember remember the fifth of November.

23c) Buy a Guy Fawkes mask.

1) Try flying. At least once. Shoot for maybe a five foot drop. For the risky and those who don’t care about whether they kiss pavement or not, I’d suggest the Empire State Building. Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for your death, if it should occur, so don’t tell your families about this blog.

46) Develop an addiction and/or obsession. For example, I am obsessed with my addiction of buying dvds. And boots. Hence, the large collection of dvds that contains lots of people wearing boots.

46b) The day will come when you have to decide between a pair of really spiffy boots and Robin Hood with Russel Crowe. Go for the boots.

46c) You can purchase Robin Hood some other day. Or ask for it for Christmas.

80) Do not name your female feline “Lenny”. Apparently gender confusion is just as prevalent in the cat family as in the nuclear family.

23450987) Subscribe to some garbage magazine at least once in your life. Mine is Entertainment. So worth it.

53) Make it a point to relate to mythical characters. Or at least Frodo.

54) If you don’t know who Frodo is then you should watch The Lord of the Rings directed by Peter Jackson.

54b) Which is also composed by Howard Shore. Buy the soundtracks to these movies. You will not regret this purchase. (Yes there are three films in The Lord of the Rings.)

54c) If you managed to miss the pop cultural phenomenon that was The Lord of the Rings at the dawn of the New Millennium then start chasing that train. It left the station nine years ago.

5) Forget about social constraints.


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